Full disclaimer: These are all my own opinions. I am not a scientist, medical doctor, epidemiologist, etc. We also highly respect Doctors and Nurses and anyone in the healthcare industry. We had a less than stellar experience when our son was in the hospital – but once we were an outpatient and matched with a specialist it was great. Also – don’t take any of this as medical advice 🙂
Clickbait title? I wish… but it isn’t. It did happen in 2016 to our beautiful 3-month-old baby boy. Our first child. I was still recovering from a C-section, we were still trying to figure out breastfeeding, my hormones were still going nuts… and then our child contracted a virus called CMV that roughly about 40% of the population gets by the time they are in their 40s. In most people, it just develops into a common cold, and they just think they have a cold instead of the CMV virus. In some people, it reacts differently and makes their bodies go a bit haywire like it did in our son. – Very much like Covid right now.
The doctors kept telling us Wyatt was going to bleed internally and die at any minute. They kept telling us this over and over if we had any questions or were questioning why he wasn’t being treated and why we couldn’t bring him home if they were not going to do any treatments. They just kept saying the hospital is the safest place for him since he could bleed internally any second and die.
The doctors are literally saying your 3-month-old is going to die at any minute. You have NO control what so ever on the outcome of your child. If you are not a parent – then maybe you have a nephew or niece, and that would be the closest person I can relate the feeling to. People expect older people to die. No one really expects a child to die or get a disease that is life-threatening.
Once we got home (after this first treatment), we are left with the choice of putting padded bumpers on his crib.
Bumpers are a huge No-No in pretty much any country, I think, at this point. They increase the risk of SIDS.
We had a choice because he loved to push his head up against the bars on his crib – to the point of it hurting him. So, we could either let him do that and possibly bleed internally from bruising so much, or we could put up padded bumpers. It would save his head, but again he could die from suffocation.
Either way could hurt him, and he could die. So we put up bumpers, hoped for the best, and I slept on his room on the floor on an extra mattress we drug in from the extra room.
That night laying there and saying a little prayer to God, and I knew I had already come full circle. I knew that whether or not this treatment worked, whether or not the virus took him or complications from the virus, technically speaking took him was totally out of any ones control. Coming to peace with all of it was the only way I could fall asleep.
The 1 thing that I learned while our child was literally withering away in the hospital from a virus that we had never heard of and there is no vaccine for, not really a cure – just help the person through the symptoms until their body recovers – VERY much like Covid right now. The one thing I learned was to make peace with viruses and let it go.
Sure, they might show patterns. Some groups might be more preconditioned to get a virus worse off than other groups. But in the end – the virus is going to take who it is going to take.
Sounds a bit morbid, I know. It might even sound like I am saying who the heck cares… that isn’t it. I care.
Like legit people, I was wiping my cart down at the grocery store before it was cool.
There were times I would have to pull 2-3 wipes out of the pack the store provided because the top ones were DRY because no one used them… Also, loved it when black stuff came off on the wipe because NO ONE wiped the carts down. Yum.
I washed my hands and had hand sanitizer on me at all times as well. I used all that stuff even more after having kids because ya know kids like to pick used straws off of the ground in parking lots… ek.
So… What does all this mean?
Do we think Covid is real? Yes, it is a real virus.
Are we scared of it? No.
Should we be? Eh, maybe? No one is going to know until maybe 12 months from now? Maybe 2 years? Maybe even longer.
I refuse to paralyze my life, thoughts, and family.
Masks. Let’s talk about this for a hot second. I’m not going to go into if you should or shouldn’t wear one. I feel like that opens up a whole can of worms that brings in politics, and that isn’t what I am here for.
For me and my opinion – I don’t care if someone wears one or not. Don’t cough on me (I wouldn’t want that prior to covid), but it does not bother me if someone is wearing one or not. I don’t expect someone to wear one to protect me. My ability to protect myself against covid is my own.
Let’s take an example of Disney – they just opened up to the general public. They have put essentially every precaution and recommendation out there into requirements – but they still have signs up that say, “ Hey, you are coming onto Disney property, and you are assuming the risk of contracting covid – we aren’t liable” I take that concept when I go anywhere.
By leaving my house, I am accepting the risk.
By being around other people – I am accepting the risk.
If I feel the risk is too great for my family, then I won’t go. I just heard of a county fair that opened up – I would LOVE to take Wyatt because I know that he would TOTALLY love to ride the rides and play some games… but it might be a bit too soon for that. Now – come October when it is our local county fair – Sure – We will see what happens.. its October – we can hope for the best.
Side Story: Wyatt and Kids Play Places:
One risk I always assessed before covid was taking Wyatt to a kid’s play place ( Cosi, Children’s Museum in Lancaster, even the play area at the Polaris Mall). I knew that if I took him to a play place – even though I had him stop playing halfway – sanitized his hands and sanitized his hands and arms after he played at those locations (all pre-covid). I knew with.out.a.doubt that he would get sick. He ALWAYS got some type of cold about a 3-6 days after a play place. It was like clockwork to the point that if I knew we had something big coming up (vacation, birthdays, Christmas, etc), I simply would not take him to a play place until after the vacation or birthday or whatever it was coming up.
I know a lot of people who are terrified to work right now. I know a lot of people who are on the fence about how to go about shooting the weddings they have on the books. They want to be there for their couples, but they are terrified to the point of being paralyzed. Some people want everything to open back up like normal and carry on with the world like covid never happened. Some people want everything to shut back down again 100% until a cure or vaccine is available. All sides of the spectrum show up on my newsfeed from my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.
I know my perspective on covid and viruses, in general is unique. I don’t even think I can count on 1 hand the number of people that I know that a virus almost killed their child or did kill them. Maybe my net isn’t wide enough? Maybe I would be taking a different approach to everything if one of our kids had an autoimmune disease that suppressed their immune system. Maybe they have one, and we don’t know.
We are still carrying on with life. It looks a tiny bit different, but we are still carrying on as normal as possible for our kids. I didn’t grow up learning to fear the world and fear something that you can’t see (Yes, I know you can see viruses under a microscope). I grew up on the perspective of tackle your fear. Be cautious, but not to the point that you disrupt your life. Sometimes I forget those core values. I’m not perfect. I don’t want to inadvertently teach my kids or have someone/something else teach my kids to fear something you can’t see and fear the unknown.
Side Story: Wyatt and The Grocery Store
Before Covid Wyatt LOVED to go grocery shopping. He would clap in the car and say This is SO fun. He loved to go and talk to people, smile, and interact with everyone. After Lockdown, I said, “Hey, let’s go grocery shopping together, and he said No”. I asked him why not and he said he wanted to “Stay Home and Stay Safe”.
I hadn’t been paying attention during lockdown to what media he was consuming.
We let him watch more TV than he should have, and we weren’t paying a ton of attention to the commercials. The programing was fine – but the commercials had all gone to saying “stay home and stay safe”. I was so mad at myself that I let those commercials play, and he saw them over and over and over again. He is 4. And just turned 4 in April. He can’t filter the noise out. He believes whatever hears. He learned a cute handwashing song that he now sings whenever he washes his hands. So – it wasn’t all bad.
To him – leaving the house was not safe. That is not okay with me.
He and I had a chat before we went to the grocery store about as long as he is with me, dad, grandma and grandpa or aunt, and uncle then he is safe. As long as one of us is with him, then he is safe. The grocery store or any store is not dangerous, and they are safe. Is this the perfect answer? Eh, probably not, but it was the best I could do on the fly.
Now we are SUPER aware of the commercials being played on any channel we watch and also the commercials on the radio.
Our perspective of already having 1 child almost die from a virus and not being able to do a damn thing about it while it was all happening and now having 2 children during another virus is keeping us on our toes and teaching us new things.
We as parents (at least us) need to protect our children mentally from all of this. I am sure if our kids were older, then I would have a different take on it all. If Wyatt was 10 and more able to comprehend and filter what was going on, my take would be different.
Right now, Wyatt knows there is a virus that he doesn’t like and that everyone has it. He doesn’t like us talking about the virus, he doesn’t like hearing about it. He does enjoy daddy working from home.
We are trying to keep everything as normal and like before as possible. So, that is what we are trying to do. Keep it as normal as possible with hopefully just minor adjustments that do not take a toll on him and disrupt him too much. What that looks like for us and not getting anxious about everything, not stopping our normal lives. Keeping him home when needed, but also making sure he goes out and goes grocery shopping with me. Explaining to him in the simplest and childproof way of why people are wearing masks.
If you stayed with me till the end, Thank you. This was a long write and lots of edits/ adds/ subtractions… etc. I hope it gave you a new perspective and maybe made you feel a little bit more at ease with the virus or maybe gave you the idea to find peace with the situation and live your life as normal as possible.
If you want to chat more about this, then I always welcome the conversation. I want to keep politics out of it because that’s just no fun. I like to look at data, statistics and form my own opinions on the numbers and what is best for us as our nuclear family.
Here is a photo of our happy and healthy 4 year old Wyatt
I am an Ohio based photographer who loves photographing weddings and engagements, traveling to beautiful sandy beaches, running after our adorable son Wyatt and border collie Bentley. A chips and salsa freak. Lover of coconut smelling lotions - candles - tea - desserts and... well anything that smells coconuty, and finally warm summer nights on our patio! Come hang out with me on Instagram and Facebook!